Saturday, February 07, 2015

Scouts

Black and white small square photo,
dated at the bottom border : Jul   62,
you look to be about eight or nine,
your scout uniform is flawless,
shorts perfectly pressed,
cap in just the right position,
knee socks pulled up tight - just below the knee,
converse,
neck kerchief lies symmetrically
yet naturally.

One arm is at your side
the other hand makes the scout sign,
elbow bent at a right angle,
three fingers pointed towards the sky.

You stand on a sidewalk,
alongside a parked Ford,
you look genuinely happy - proud even,
there are nicely manicured lawns in the background,
behind you,
side by side.

They look nice enough to roll on,
that's what I want to do,
take my shoes off and feel my toes in that perfectly mowed lawn,
to lie in it,
stretch out my arms and legs,
make a grass angel.

I also wonder if your face
has ever looked as innocent, bold, joyous
and full of possibility,
since July of 1962



Wednesday, January 07, 2015

New Year Poem





a new pathway of discovery
a new perspective
about to reveal itself

I stare straight ahead
straining to see the far view
of course it's obscured
all I have
is the ground underfoot

as I take each tentative step
all I would ask for
is stillness of mind
and courage of heart.




Friday, December 05, 2014

Walking away from the scene



From Claudia Emerson's poem "Aftermath"

'You see, aftermath is easier, opening
             again the wound along it's numb scar; it is the sentence

spoken the second time - truer, perhaps,
             with the blunt edge of a practised tongue.'



Tuesday, September 16, 2014

the evidence


"Poetry is just the evidence of life. If your life is burning well poetry is just the ash"
-Leonard Cohen

I came across this quote today and it caused me to wonder whether my life is burning well right now. I feel like it burns with chaos mostly. Mainly the chaos of my own confused mind half the time. And I suppose that is its own unique sort of burning. Some things never change. But the poetry is not coming fast or easily to me at this time, and that bothers me. It could be that I need to exercise some other art form right now. It could be due to the fact that many changes are on the horizon, and the shape of my life is evolving in ways that I did not expect them to....at least not right now. Changes can sometimes turn ones world around. Even the very good and life giving ones. 

The main burning for me right now is that of love - quite unexpected - which I thought had left me behind for good. I had all but resigned myself to a kind of monastic, mostly solitary life. I think up until pretty recently I had convinced myself that I didn't want or need the love of a partner and had become impervious to it. (Truthfully there still is some part of me that feels drawn to the life of a monk) But as of a couple of weeks ago I'm engaged to be married. So that whole nun thing is not gonna happen.

Yes it's true. I'm engaged. For the second time in my life....which feels a little weird. But it feels more right and natural than anything else. More right than anything before, actually. I am beyond floored and thankful that I've actually found someone I know I can't live without, and who can't live without me. Miracles do happen.....right when you least expect them to.

So I guess in some ways my life is burning. Just not with poetry at the moment. I almost feel too full of words that I can't figure out how to concisely express yet. It needs time to settle. I've become somewhat used to life throwing me curve balls - both bad and good - and I know it takes time for me to process these kinds of changes. 

My hope is that the evidence of this joyful time of life transition will show up in my art, in poetry, music....in whatever way. Because I want something to show for the love and gratitude I feel.

There is my September entry. 
Burn it up,
-Julia


Thursday, August 07, 2014

dodging bullets




i am so thankful
that i dodged that bullet
that i got away just in time
i am so thankful
i could fall prostrate and kiss the ground
thank you thank you thank you
that i got away
in time to receive
the thing i most needed
i am surrounded by this warmth now
and everything rings true
and i'm not sure why
but today it hit me
and i just have to say
thank you thank you thank you
that i dodged that bullet



Wednesday, July 23, 2014

What we don't expect

Why does it seem so often that whenever something really good happens in my life, something really shitty seems to follow up directly? Honestly....it's fucking creepy sometimes.

Here is a poem about that kind of stupidity.

----------------------------------

Blindsided Squared

the unexpected shows up
so unexplained
almost outrageous
in its arrival
like a desert oasis
or a flash flood.

Sensory assaults:
heat and cold,
joy and sorrow
caught me unaware
so that I was left blinking, stunned
and tingling.

These are the things we
never expect.
The ones that throw us hard
into the wide open
present
where anything can happen

and nothing
is rote.







Monday, June 30, 2014

question for Robert


“Classic is our daring, classic our cowardice. Classic is our cruelty, classic our charity.” 

― Robert Ardrey, The Hunting Hypothesis: A Personal Conclusion Concerning the Evolutionary Nature of Man

****************


what happened I wonder
in the span of time 
between the Killer Ape 
and the human.

what will happen next?

who or what will lead the way
to our true evolution
without cowardice 
or cruelty?

when will we move past the corpses
finally,

and be known only and always 
by our poems?